Learning to Introspect

As times have changed, so has parenting. Unlike mothers of yesteryears who were preoccupied with catering to large families and a never ending series of house-hold tasks, mothers in modern times have clear cut priorities.

Raising a ‘perfect’ child seems to be the unspoken ambition for them. Mothers of toddlers are seen in a frenzy of buying picture books, educational CDs and toys. Mothers of five to eight year olds hunt desperately for the ideal activity class to bring out their child’s hidden talent. The more the child grows, the more parents become excited and anxious to go that extra mile to bring him/her up perfectly. What the child needs is often asked but seldom understood.

At the same time parents are anxious to instil the right values in their child. The child is made to learn the 'good behaviour' norms almost as quickly as he/she is encouraged to learn the multiplication tables! The rigour with which this is enforced can make a Marshal proud.

Inspire believes that along with exhibiting these aspirations and expectations for the child, parents must consider giving the child the ‘space’ he/she deserves. This space eventually helps to accentuate emotional and intellectual growth in the child.

Here we would like to share Arun’s story with you.

Arun shared a special relationship with his mother. Every morning she would drop him to school in their Maruti 800. For some years the arrangement went on well. As Arun entered teenage he developed a sense of self-consciousness. He began to compare their Maruti 800 to all the big and fancy cars that streamed in to the school entrance each morning. One day, he casually told his mother, “You don’t have to drive all the way in mother. You can park the car a little before the main entrance and I can comfortably walk to school from there.”

What do you think the mother did?

She could have indulged in morality talk and lectured the boy on being content with what they had. She could advise him to stop comparing and look at himself with dignity. She could even go ahead to prove that owning a Maruti 800 did not in any way make her or her son inferior.

Arun’s mother, however, did none of this. Instead, she did exactly as her son had asked her to do. In doing so she honoured the state of mind her son was in. She gave him the space he needed to think and realise his feelings. Although she wanted her son to be happy and proud of what he was, she drew a line and did not rub her own values and thoughts on to him.

Six months later, Arun brought up the topic again. This time he said, “I am fine with it mother, you can drop me right in. I think it is just fine.” His mother smiled with pride and warmth. She knew her son had come around.

During the six months that her child went through a confusion of identity, she resisted the temptation more than once to ‘help out’. She chose to give him the space and independence to develop his own sense of self.

The question that arises here is, - 'Will a child always make the right decision? Will a firm value system evolve if children are always allowed their space and freedom?'

If the focus shifts away from trying to raise a perfect child, this is definitely achievable. We will need to trust our children and give them the opportunity to figure things out for themselves.

As one of the first steps in building a sense of self worth in children, we do not have to immerse the six year old in days packed with back-to-back activity schedules. He/She should be able to appreciate learning things instead of running against time to complete his/her karate- skating-swimming-drawing- dancing routine. The value of learning increases manifold when the child understands that he/she does not need to do all of this, but he/she may like to do some of them.

Similarly the child should find it natural to make a few minor mistakes or errors of judgement without bringing forth a strong reaction from the parents. These mistakes will help him/her explore choices, experiment, and eventually pick the right one.

* Inspire does not claim copyright of this image

Nothing in the world can work better than this to boost the child’s self-worth and confidence.

The Day that Comes Once in a Year

Annual Days are quite the big deal for all schools. Weeks and months of toil and hard work are put into the preparations for the event. On this day the school comes out and tells the world, “Look at how good we are! All our students participate in extra-curricular activities.” In our adult wisdom we consider annual days a platform for children to exhibit their creativity and develop confidence.

Today we share a story about one such Annual Day.

A harried teacher was instructing her pre-scholars to remain quiet and line up for their performance. She kept running around, from one end of the waiting area to the other, getting her students ready. Just as the Chief Guest was to walk in, one of her students, Priya, started calling out to her loudly. The teacher ran to Priya, first urging her to keep quiet and then asking her what the matter was. Priya, with a face full of wonder and amazement that only a four-year-old can have, looked up at the skies, pointed with her small, chubby finger, “Look! Pigeon!”
The teacher was stumped. Should she shout at little Priya for being amazed by a pigeon, even as the Chief Guest was walking in? Or should she build on this wonder and fascination to talk about pigeons?

As people who are engaged with educating children we often encounter such ‘opportunities’. Yet we often ignore them for our pre-determined agendas. While we talk about experiential education and harp on the Play Way method, we often tailor these approaches to incorporate what we think is appropriate for the children. We try to determine the experiences and takeaway for children from these experiences. What we tend to forget is that each child is capable of thinking. We tend to ignore their authentic responses because we presume that they do not know enough.

Children can partner with adults in their own learning process, if their perspectives are accommodated in. We need to reflect on how we impose our ‘agenda’ on children. Take for example the choice of colour for their dresses - do all girls have to love pink? Or the kind of story books we select, as well as the learning experiences we create for these little individuals.

Let us go back to our story.

The teacher reflected on her experience. She realised that the children were not engaged in the show because it was not something they had wanted to do. They were merely abiding by her instructions. No one had asked them for their ideas or suggestions. So the next year the teacher started a theme on ‘Water’ a month before the Annual Day. Children experimented with water, shared experiences. Among other activities, the class heard stories on water and rivers. The children identified a story they wanted to act out. The teacher then asked the children to pretend that they were 'water' and to decide how they wanted to move. The young children with the teacher’s guidance actually choreographed their routine - deciding movements that were simple, suitable and spontaneous!
Every day the children looked forward to practicing their story. For Annual Day they put up their best performance because they were showcasing ‘their’ story for their parents!

Children have an infinite capacity to learn and express. We as teachers and parents just need to tap the potential and watch how they blossom.

Changing Mindsets

Teachers often complain that some children in class are just not interested in learning. They are not willing to put in the effort needed to learn.

Yet any of us who have taken care of a three year old know how physically and mentally tiring it can be to answer their incessant stream of questions and follow them as they go exploring the
environment.

Every waking moment in a toddler's life is spent on learning.

So are we as teachers saying that some children don't want to learn while actually implying that they do not want to learn in school?

Why should they - schools are contrived environments while the world outside is so much more rich, diverse, nuanced, dynamic and challenging.

Our schools and education system still equate education with acquiring information.
Knowledge is absolute, so a good student is someone who can download the knowledge, save it in memory and reproduce it as is, whenever needed. Learning is therefore all about obeying orders and following instructions. Moreover schools continue to function under the illusion that knowledge is available only in the class.

The world however is changing rapidly. While it took the radio over three decades to reach 50 million people, Facebook reached this number in just a couple of years.

Our children's world is one of instant information, communication, entertainment and collaboration. YouTube has over one billion page views per day and there are over 31 billion searches on Google every month.

We as teachers need to accept that knowledge can no longer be considered as absolute and unchanging. Neither can we continue to believe in ourselves as the fount of knowledge.

Instead, we need to view ourselves as facilitators - creating collaborative, inquiry-based learning experiences that will help students to gather, examine, validate, modify and extend knowledge. We need to support and guide them as they use the current knowledge to create new products and solutions as well as discover what is still unknown.

While this will have implications in the school design, classroom setting, practices and curriculum, the change will have to begin from the change in teachers' attitudes towards teaching and learning.